So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize