I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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