Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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