Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
