So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
