This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
