Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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