He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think a kid would responsible me up
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
