what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
