i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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