There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
