you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need to calm my uterus...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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