he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
