Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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