All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
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I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
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Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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