hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
