I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
