if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
