You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
