The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
