we're chasing vodka with high fives
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
