I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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