I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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