ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
