I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
