Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
