it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
