I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Houston, we have a squirter
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
