What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This baby is an asshole
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
