Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
