I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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