i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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