That's intense
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
