This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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