I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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