I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
