we have pet lesbian snakes
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
