I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
