dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
