so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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