I just made out with a guy for $7.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
