the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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