That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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