the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
