how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just found a bag of teeth...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
