i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
