i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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