I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
