you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
