i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize