i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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