At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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