I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
