we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
