ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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