His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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