she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we're making bets on your personal life
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Enjoy the penises
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
