Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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