70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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