she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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